There was a man who said, "I never knew what happiness was until I got married...and then it was too late!" Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock. They say when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage, it is self-defense. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why. There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married, and now he is going through hell. A Code of Honor: Never approach a friend's girlfriend or wife with mischief as your goal. There are just too many women in the world to justify that sort of dishonorable behavior. Unless she's really attractive. -- Bruce Friedman A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage. -- Marvin Kitman A gentleman is one who never swears at his wife while ladies are present. A husband is living proof that a wife can take a joke. A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted. -- Helen Rowland
A man must marry only a very pretty woman in case he should ever want some other man to take her off his hands. -- Guitry Ah Mozart! He was happily married - but his wife wasn't. -- Borge Always talk to your wife while you're making love... if there's a phone handy. An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. -- Agatha Christie And I shall love thee still my dear, Until my wife is wise. Bachelor: the only man who has never told his wife a lie. Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. -- Socrates Correction: Instead of being arrested, as we stated, for kicking his wife down a flight of stairs and hurling a lighted kerosene lamp after her, the Rev. James P. Wellman died unmarried four years ago.
Marriage quotes 05 Dear Mrs, Mr, Miss, or Mr and Mrs Daneeka: Words cannot express the deep personal grief I experienced when your husband, son, father or brother was killed, wounded, or reported missing in action. -- Catch-22 Diplomat: A man who can convince his wife she would look stout in a fur coat. Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper. English Law prohibits a man from marrying his mother-in-law. This is our idea of useless legislation. Feminists are OK, I just wouldn't want my sister to marry one. He who knows nothing, knows nothing. But he who knows he knows nothing knows something. And he who knows someone whose friend's wife's brother knows nothing, he knows something. Or something like that. Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother. -- Ken Dodd Husband: a man who buys his football tickets four months in advance and waits until December 24 to do his Christmas shopping. I am in total control, but don't tell my wife.